Did you know the world is ending? Yup. Sometime in May. I know this because I saw it on a billboard. You may think I would have paid close attention and taken the date down…need I remind you I am a VERY safe driver? I don’t get distracted by things like cell phone calls and texts. Not even the imminent end forecast on a larger than life billboard takes my attention off the road.

Am I surprised? Not really. I’m starting to see that this was all predicted by the coming of the lard-butts and the rise of Walmartistan culture. Let’s face it, the best appetite suppressants are not at the forefront of the mind when the end is right over the horizon line. Why not chow down and bulk up because I don’t think they have high fructose corn syrup in heaven. Unless you eat the cheap generic store-bought brand of manna.