Yes, another Step Brothers reference. Actually, for this post, Apidexin ‘N Cisco might have been a better post. It is, after all, the season of chunky Walmart shopping, angry large people seeming to descend from the hills for their single day shopping outing. All this holiday spirit, dripping from me personal ramparts reminds me of an overheard conversation a few years ago at the Dollar Store…

I was walking up and down the aisles with a then 2 year old Jake while Carol waited on a huge line to complete an insubstantial purchase of stocking stuffer chocolate and batteries, or something. I had repeatedly passed members of a particular family who were doing their Christmas shopping…yes, ALL of their Christmas shopping. They had been talking rather loudly, hogging the aisles, and making something of a spectacle of themselves.

As I was making my way to the front of the store, praying that Carol was almost to the front of the line so we could flee, I passed a final pow wow of the three women, representing three generations in this particular family. They had dumped their booty into Grandma’s cart and all were reviewing what they’d purchased. It seemed like they had gifts for several family members or friends. Several gifts for each of these people, and they seemed rather pleased. Then the whopper –

Mom: What did we get for Daddy? (I assumed she meant the daughter’s father)
Daughter: Ummm. We can give him these Santas (she held up a box with 8 or so chocolate Clauses)
General mumbling as they pushed things aside and searched.
Grandma: Oh, I got him these nice socks for church (they were tan and, in all honesty, fairly nice looking…for the Dollar Store)
Mom: Goddamn it, we should have spent more time in the man aisle.
Grandma: Too late now.
Mom: Yeah, we gotta get on line.

Let me just end with this – I am a very lucky man because every year, year after year, my wonderful wife always spends the exact perfect amount of time in the man aisle.

Merry X-ma$ indeed.