The people across the street from us have a bunch of campaign signs along the road in front of their property. I remember during the last presidential election that they had all the local Republicans and a Bush/Cheney sign. I was talking to the neighbor one day about something completely removed and a youngish Asian woman, kind of Margaret Cho looking, pulled up in a mini-wagon and started gushing about the sign.

Where did you get it? Oh my God it’s great. I have to get one. My neighbor, a little embarrassed it seemed, told her they had them at the Town Hall. When the Bush groupie motored off, my neighbor said to me that her boss, an elected official on one of the signs, asked her to put it up. ‘I can’t exactly say no, can I?”

Hmm. Well, I might make claims of abused power and such if I didn’t already assume that the neighbors are a little bit more conservative than me. I honestly didn’t think much of it. In fact, the woman who couldn’t wait to get her hands on some Bush propaganda for her lawn…I don’t know, the unbridled enthusiasm was definitely weird. And I did wonder if I could have picked up a Kerry/Edwards sign at the Republican dominated Town Hall that year, but that’s not really my point today.

See, a couple weeks ago, the signs went up across the street again. For several days it was locals only. Then, something like a week ago, the McCain/Palin sign showed up. That kind of burns me up, but it is the land of the free.

Then, a few nights ago, around 10 at night, we heard some weird noises out front. It sounded like a car bottoming out…pretty badly…but there’s really no place to do that. It was, of course, pitch black out, so we kind of forgot about it.

Then, the next morning, I noticed that the four or five signs across the street looked particularly trampled. Son of a bitch! Somebody ran them over. The noise we heard was one of the local sign getting particularly bent up, and probably tangling with the vandal’s undercarriage. That one sign is pretty much trashed. The remaining few, including the McCain/Palin sign, are all at a sort of 45 degree salute. Something appears amiss, to say the least, and nobody has yet straightened them out.

Here’s what I want to say about this: If you see McCain/Palin signs, I understand the impulse to run them over. I really do, because it has flitted through me more than once. But you can’t do it. Not only will you risk damage to the underside of your vehicle – or perhaps even a sliced tire sidewall – but it is wrong.

Seriously. Let the conservatives and the so-called Christians, and the right-wing player haters be the douchebags of this election. McCain and Palin have shown the only thing they are good at is being nasty, so the people who put up the signs must approve of the nastiness.

But we, as pinky commie liberal tree hugging baby killers need to take the high road. Don’t run over the douchebag signs. Instead, get yourself a non-douchebag sign and hang it up. I mean, you can’t get one at my Town Hall, but maybe yours is a little better.