We were just watching this reality game show thing on Bravo – it was about hair dressers and hosted by Jaclyn Smith. So…Bravo and competitive hairdressers…need I tell you that gayness abounded. No big surprise there. Even the commercials were in on it. There was this Buy.com commercial with Howie Mandel and a woman named “Gay” buying a blender. He was like, “I want a Gay smoothie,” and “Are you Gay all the time?” And there were a bunch of other commercials clearly targetting the urban metrosexual population. Again, no big surprise.

But here’s what I don’t get…in the middle of all these ads for Jose Cuervo and hair gel and Mamma Mia, there were several advertisements for distinctly senior-oriented stuff. The Mercedes sedan commercial for one. I may be stretching here, but it was definitely the old lady model, nothing sleek and sexy about it. And then there was the Robert Wagner pitch for reverse mortgages. That’s right seniors. you too can live off the equity in your home and screw your worthless, thankless grandchildren out of their inheritance. Go for it! And Metamucil. Berry Blast, sure, with the natural flavors of fresh cut strawberries, raspberries and blueberries (ooooh yummy antioxidants!)

Come on people! Bravo is gay and Bravo should be gay. You can say goodbye to Season 5 of Project Runway if they start pandering to old ladies with their oversized German-engineered monster sedans, their oodles of cash from deep-sixed home equity, and all that free time you can only get from good old regularity. That Activia yogurt junk ain’t got nothing on the big M.

I don’t want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, or some senior-fearing freak, but people, I beg you, pay attention here. It isn’t enough that they’re sucking Social Security dry? Don’t let them take our Bravo.