Stupid license plate on the back of one of those ridiculous Mercedes SUVs: MELZBENZ. Boy Mel, aren’t you clever. I usually find it quite annoying when people get a plate of this sort combining car model with their name. I can see you’ve wasted your money on a gas-guzzling Auschwitz-mobile, and I don’t care what your name is, so…shut up.

Then I saw a second plate, even stupider than Mel’z. Actually, it was so stupid, it made MELZBENZ look like a pretty good choice as far as vanity plates go. This plate was on a Mazda 626, right next to the little metallized plastic nameplate that says Mazda 626. Want to guess what the plate said? I kid you not…MAZDA626. That must be easy to remember when filling out the little space for your plate number when you check into a hotel.

Then I saw a Prius Hybrid with an interesting bumper sticker. My other car is a locomotive. I thought this was particularly interesting since the word locomotive makes me think of big, coal-powered, smoke-belching, pollution machines. I know that modern locomotives are, for the most part, either diesel or electric, but the word has that antiquated feel. And anyway, doesn’t a huge percentage of our electricity come from coal? Stinky, stinky coal?

Anyway, the word locomotive does seem to suggest something not altogether environmentally friendly. Slapped on the back of a hybrid car, I don’t know, it just seemed wrong. Maybe it’s me. After all, what do I know of big machines and energy-efficiency, and all that educated science stuff. I shop at the Dollar Store.