Another Advanced Degree Program

I’ve checked out a number of online schools in the past that offer advanced degrees, usually in the nursing field. I’m always interested in the players in the distance learning field since ti is somewhat related to my work in alumni networking, so when I find a new one, I like to check it out.

This time I’m checking out Lewis University. They have a number of advanced degree programs in Information Security, Organizational Leadership, and Nursing. Their public safety degree is particularly interesting to me. It targets professionals in law enforcement, emergency medical services, disaster response, or fire services. It also seems an interesting advancement from the BA in Fire Advancement degree they also offer.

As the Lewis Univerity literature points out, this is a time when emergency response and issues of security are in the front of many people’s minds. Better trained and prepared professionals insuch crucial fields…well, I think we can all see the benefits.

Thinking of the handful of times I’ve had interactions with law enforcement, I can think of only one incident in which the police officer was human, polite and humorous without dropping the mantel of authority. A few other occasions were marked by a more or less lackadaisical attitude on the part of the officer, or the cop was actually a real jerk.

While the police work in a highly tense professional environment pretty much all of the time, and they are certainly physically well trained in the vast majority of cases, I have to wonder how well they are trained in dealing with the masses. There is a huge power imbalance between cops and citizens in the vast majority of interactions between the two groups. I would certainly like to see more police officers with advanced degrees in public safety on the streets. I think it could only improve relations, and success.

I had a conversation with a friend a while back about law enforcement and fire fighters. The friend was of the opinion that cops and fire fighters need not be overly educated. He was not disparaging these professionals, he was just of the opinion that advanced degrees and ongoing education were not very important for them. I am of a very different opinion. I said then, and still believe, that if our greatest minds (or at least the most educated ones) went into police work, rather than becoming tort lawyers or plastic surgeons, we might actually see a real decline in crime.

A couple kilos

I should probably go to the doctor. All my time in the hospital lately makes me think…yeah it’s time. But what happens when he says I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and the onset of male pattern baldness…well, I don’t know about that last one, but he’ll probably notice it’s thinning a little bit when I strip down to my underwear because we all know how guys hate to look at other guys’ packages.

You know, he’ll avert his eyes and lock in on that thin spot on the crown and it’ll get all jungle competitive, right?

I don’t know, I never go to the doctor so who knows. Maybe he’ll be balder than me. But then he’ll make some ass comment about my back hair or something and, well, you probably shouldn’t slap your physician, right?

In any event he will surely tell me to lose a couple pounds. They all do that. And that means skipping the wine for a while, skipping the french fries. Dude, that’s a drag. Maybe I should just be on the lookout for the best diet pills, right?

Speaking of which, any suggestions because bulimia is just so not me, and I really hate to give up my fries and wine. It’s the French in me.

Did he?

All that Puffy talk in the last post makes me wonder how many fans of Sean John (is that his current name?) will be hitting the ol’ site. Man, you wouldn’t believe some of the searches that land wayward surfers here at Pope Street.

But that’s neither here nor there, I had something pointed out to me just moments ago about the whole post-op puffy hands thing I talked about – as long as you’ve got the balloon hands you can save money on wrinkle cream.

Okay, maybe that is small comfort, especially since the extra stretch might lead to additional future wrinkles when the swelling goes down. But for now let’s just look for a bright light. Can we do that please? Naysayers be damned. Haters be quiet. Puff Daddy fans be spending your money on anything other than Puff Daddy clothing, music and libations. Seriously.

Did you know…

When you undergo massive surgery, or two massive surgeries in two days, and you are under heavy anesthesia, your hands may puff up. Seriously puff up. Actually, one nurse said if you don’t look like jiffy puff, you didn’t have heart surgery. I think jiffy puff is a marshmallow, or at least, I think she meant something marshmallow-ish.

I think Stay-Puft Marshmallow man in Ghostbusters and…yeah, that’s a bout right. So, if you’re just out of surgery on your heart (first or second round) or if you know somebody who is, don’t be thinking weight loss supplement…it’s all good.

Seriously, though, after a full week of having a loved one in the Intensive Care Unit, actually in the ICUs of two different hospitals, it is calming to know that a physical side effect like puffiness is just that – a side effect. And even if it seems a little scary and is surely uncomfortable, we can rest assured that it is normal and transitory. And if we’re not laughing about it, at least we can have a little smile.

But no s’mores. S’mores will have to come much much later.

Hello Nurse!

Not long ago I was more or less reviewing the offerings of Gonzaga University, where you can get a Masters degree online. In that post I mentioned my recent trip to the dentist as my wife’s chauffeur, and a colorful individual I met in the waiting room.

Maybe met was not the right word. This dude was a maniac of extrovertedness. He was loud and brash and…I think the correct word might be garrulous. He was seriously off the wall. He flirted equally with the middle aged receptionist (you don’t drink, you’re not 21 yet, no way) and my 4 months old daughter (oh my god she’s so beautiful). He was 19 and allegedly attending nursing school. He has a 1 year old son with his ex-girlfriend. “Yup,” he said hitching up his crotch-at-the-knees jeans, “responsibility.”

It reminded me of the Rugrats movie when baby Dil was born and little Tommy learned all about “responsitility” from his Dad. Then he used the pocket watch as a compass to get home in the Reptar carriage/wagon…but that’s neither here nor there.

The point was, there was this crazy insane dude in the waiting room at the dentist, and as crazy insane dudes are wont to do, he gravitated toward me. I am somehow a crazy insane dude magnet. Trust me, I have stories lots of them. Like the Vietnam vet who was going to the Peekskill VA when I was in high school who sat with me and Adam and told us, among other things, about mashing a man’s eyeball on his forehead. Or Billy, the verbose traveller who borrowed the bike from the “home” and pedalled his way into the picnic that was my first date with my future wife. Just two of the many, I assure you.

Anyway, I keep thinking about the crazy insane dude and how he chattered on and on to me while he was supposed to be filling out his first-time patient paperwork. Honestly, at the rate he progressed, he is probably still writing. The thing is, he kept speaking about attending nursing school, and while his seemed to be an admirable goal, I have to say I just don’t see it. I don’t want to shoot crazy insane dude down, I don’t want to stereotype him as unfit for a career in the healing arts, but…well…

I guess there is also a fundamental difference between crazy insane dude and the people who pursue advanced degrees. Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the Gonzaga program would be just what the doctor ordered (hee hee, that’s funny because doctors often instruct nurses what to do…I mean, “order” may be a little un-P.C. or whatever, but, well, it’s a funny, just deal with it) for crazy insane dude. Maybe the chance to get an advanced nursing degree from a top ranked school on his own schedule would be just what he needed. Ad in the process he wouldn’t be able to drive other students nuts with his crazy insane verbosity.

I don’t know. In the end, people in healthcare need access to the  best, brightest, and most cutting edge, and if the flexibility of distance learning works for people with extensive other responsibilities (or even responsitilities) then I say rock on!

Thug Life

I just saw Monsters vs. Aliens (very cute) and hearing Seth Rogen as the voice of B.O.B. I had a few thoughts. First, combining this aural experience with a recent viewing of Horton Hears a Who, in which he does another voice, I have decided that, in my opinion, Seth Rogen should not do voices in animated films. I don’t know exactly why, but the voice just doesn’t sit in the mix. In Horton he is a tiny chipmunk-ish creature that scampers around maniacally and in Monsters he is a huge blob that squirms around. Neither works for me.

And while we’re on the topic, Mr. Rogen should probably avoid the pseudo art-house cinema scene for awhile because Observe abd Report was awful. I know it was really the fault of wannabe auteur  Jody Hill in combination with the bad taste of an audience that confuses shock value tastelessness for entertainment, but still. The movie was just a disappointment.

I don’t want you to think I’m a hater. I actually like Seth Rogen. I just think he belongs in movies about smoking pot, working crappy retail jobs, playing PS3 on a pizza stained couch and overdeveloping his jew-fro.

Come on Seth, how about Pineapple Express 2?