Back when I got that futon in Boston, I had a visit from my Mom, Grandma and Aunt. They were the little trio of ladies that would come up from time to time. They were all 5 feet ad under, so they’d sleep sideways on the futon. All three of them on the mattress. It was kind of hilarious, but really pretty practical. I had another, much smaller and crappier futon I would usually have folded up as a chair that I’d use when they visited.

The first time they visited, when I wasn’t paying attention, my Grandma pinned a Sainte Anne de Beaupre medal to the mattress. Some people wear a St Christopher Necklace. Grandma went with the French Canadian hunk of wood from a cross that didn’t burn. And that was supposed to keep me safe. What with my dirty little rock and roll lifestyle and all…