You know the Santa I took the kids to see, the one I was just telling youabout? He had all the cool gadgets. He was really running an elf free shop. Is this just a sign of a new, improved, more tech-saavy Santa? Or is it just another layer of impact caused by the current recession? I don’t know, but if unemployment lines are clogged with elves, I guess we’ll have to start pointing fingers somewhere.

Maybe the television newsmedia can help us identify the villian…or grinch…in this situation. Surely the fault lies squarely on the shoulders of the Internet. After all, TV douche bags have been demonizing the Internet for more than a decade.

Quote the Lauer (in my little fantasy here): Santa’s elf ranks are depleted…but why? Could it be the proliferation of online offers with free shipping? Could it be the incredible attraction of shopping for gifst without smelling, hearing, or being bumped into by all of fleshy humanity? Is it the fact that there are Amazon grill tools and Redenvelope.com cuff links and customized Dell laptops only a click away?

Maybe I’m stretching here.