It’s not just raccoons in bow ties that I’m looking for. I mean, yeah, catching site of a raccoon in a bow tie would rock. I’m not going to lie to you. But a giraffe with a nice necktie wouldn’t be bad. Of course, I’m not likely to see a giraffe in my neighborhood any time soon, so maybe that’s a bad example. Maybe we can just buy a whole mess of wholesale diamonds and glam up the local wildlife. Imagine a big fat, black crow covered in shiny, glittery gems, like he just lost a fight with a Bedazzler. If you can do it to a jean jacket, you can do it to a big black bird, and believe you me, that’s bling you could really CROW about.

Hah!