I’ve been ruminating a bit about bellies and bad diet, and it sets me off on a whole other tangent. While half of America is bloating so fast that Wall-E chic no longer seems particularly fanciful, the other half seems obsessively vain.

Maybe that’s not entirely accurate froma  fractional perspective, but say we’ve got 40% hugeness, 30% vanity and 30% normalcy. Those seem like scientifically accurate estimates, don’t you think?

Seriously, though. Read a youthology review for a glimpse into the seamier underbelly of American vanity. And it doesn’t start in the middle of the heartland at church gatherings. That’s just where it plays out. But the source, like so many other negative influences, the true source of corruption…

Burt Reynolds.

No lie. Have you seen his plastic surgery. My man looks like they stretched a flesh-colored ziploc baggie over his bony ass old man cheeks. Can somebody get him one of those Watchmen Rorschach masks or something?

Please?