Seriously? You’ve never listened to Old Time Radio? What about Abbott and Costello, Who’s on First. That’s a Camel cigarettes classic. And the Shadow…you’ve never heard the Shadow? Holy crap, man, those old Orson Welles episodes were legendary.

I love the old radio shows. There’s something so magical about radio. For decades, radio ruled. Most shows had one sponsor, sometimes with an addition public service announcement. Maybe a call to all Americans to consider investing in War Bonds (later Savings Bonds). Great stuff, kids. Great stuff.

Of course, today, we’d probably have a variety show hosted by Tonya Harding and Ashlee Simpson, with guest interviewer Courtney Love sitting down with Norman Mailer. It would be sponsored by some acne serum or the 2 volume DVD set, Best of Fox Reality Television from the last 20 years (and the second disc is mostly previews for upcoming new Fox Reality shows).

Yeah, we’d pretty much screw it up. Considering the recent rash of Hollywood remakes of everything from Halloween to The In-Laws to Pelham 123 to The Bad News Bears to Fame to the Manchurian Candidate… Yeah, let’s keep the idiot media-makers as far away from these classics as possible. We can just enjoy them with earbuds. Shhh. Don’t tell.