A recent trip to the hallowed toy aisles at our local Target inspires and informs this post –

And let me say first that this is not an attack on the overweight. I do that enough, including a good bit of self-deprecation, of course, but today’s words are not the quick weight loss diet variety.

So this message does not just go out to those of ample carriage. Instead, I speak directly to anyone who is

• Over the age of 14
• Taller than 5′ 2″
• Heavier than 100 pounds

Please, if this describes you…please…do not walk up and down the toy aisles with a hula hoop around you as though it is an oversized and particularly rigid belt.

Please. It’s just not right.