That’s right, I want a steering wheel mounted response system. I have been thinking about it for years, and auto accessories have come a long way. Satellite radio, lo-jack, entertainment systems, GPS, and myriad other bells and whistles are available on today’s new automobiles. Why can’t we have a steering wheel mounted response system.

Oh, what is a steering wheel mounted response system you ask? Simple. In place of your standard horn, you would have a keypad installed that features a selections of words that could easily be combined to form simple sentences. And while a whole load of expletives would be funny, it would surely not work.

In fact, believe it or not, I originally thought of this as a way to apologize to other drivers when you make a mistake. I complain about other drivers making all kinds of intentional obnoxious moves to better their traffic position by a car length or two, but once in a while I get myself into a situation where I’ve driven up in line only to discover I’m in a turn only lane…and I don’t want to turn. So I end up cutting into the correct line of traffic having inadvertently cut way ahead of lots of drivers who were doing the right thing. It may appear that I’ve done this on purpose when in fact it was an accident, but what can I do or say to apologize to my fellow motorists?

But if I had a steering wheel mounted response system I could simply press the “sorry” button on my keypad and a non-gender specific, non-race specific, non-threatening voice could chime out from the inner workings of my vehicle. Instead of a beep beep or honk honk, a simple kind word to let the other drivers know that I made a mistake and appreciate their understanding.

…and what a happier world this could be…