I don’t expect much when I go out these days. I really don’t. But when I’m in the store, I really don’t need to see people in their pajamas. I mean, I don’t expect tuxedo shirts, high heels, gabardine or leather. But velour and spandex…not so much.

Seriously, if the word pink is written on your ass, I don’t want to see it. Especially if your rear is so wide that I get confused and think it says “in k.” What the hell is in k? Oh wait, there’s a p sneaking around the right bank. It says pink. Of course.

And those peach and lime plaid flannel bottoms? Think they look cute in your dorm room? Think the other freshmen are impressed? Maybe they are. But the thirty-something parents wrestling with two toddlers and a car cat have seen it before. Seriously. Put on a pair of jeans and stop drawing attention to yourself.

I had one of those conversations recently about how people used to get all dressed up to travel by airplane in the 70s. No, I don’t remember that, but I would prefer that to what I’ve been seeing lately. I have actually seen adults in pajamas on flights. Not to mention the sweatpants and crushed velvet jogging suits and bathing suits. Yes, I have seen bathing suits on planes.

Please people, is a pair of jeans and a t-shirt too much to ask?