People are really not that nice lately. Seriously. Have you noticed this? Driving to lunch with co-workers I was cut off twice before I even got out of the parking lot. Two individuals, in two spots along a 50 yard strip of pavement ran stop signs and cut me off. One was crossing the road I was driving on, a one lane stretch alongside another one lane stretch in the opposite direction, separated by a grassy median. I had clear right of way with no obstructions. He had a stop sign, and had to cross two lanes of traffic. He shot out of a bank drive-through and blew right through the stop sign about 10 feet in front of me. I was forced to slam on the brakes and he gave me a dirty look. Maybe he wanted a collision and was upset that I’d foiled his plan?

I started forward again, travelled forward about 20 yards and began to ask my passengers if they’d noticed a trend in nastiness on the road lately when a second car shot through a second stop sign and pulled in front of me, cutting me off. Again, I had full right of way, and she did not even touch her brakes. She was exiting the Burger King part of the lot, so maybe she got one of those new BK Angry Whoppers and was itchin’ for a taste.

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on. Many people I have spoken with in the last few weeks have confirmed that they sense a steep escalation in reckless nastiness, with particular emphasis on two areas.

1: in the car, driving around, especially around paring lots, stop signs and other traffic signals.
2: in the service industry – food service, counter help, retail employees, clerks, etc.

I have to say, though, the car stuff is really getting to me. I mean, if the checkout person at the grocery store is slow or even rude, I will be minorly pissed for a few minutes, but as soon as something else distracts me, it will be forgotten. €But in the car, if I happen to sneeze, or reach for my water bottle, or laugh at a funny Ricky Gervais comment at the wrong moment, one of these aggressively obnoxious drivers could actually do me great bodily damage. I could be injured or killed. My wife or kids could be injured or killed.

Do you ever wish there could be a reality check moment? I mean, there’s this guy in a BMW who thinks he’s got all the pep and privilege in the world, so he doesn’t worry about the silly old stop sign. And then there the chunky in Honda Pilot with arms like my thighs who surely feels that she has bulk, in all its incarnations, on her side. She too could not care less about the stop sign. I would like to be able to sit down at a table with an arbitrator and these people. I’d like to compare car insurance and lease versus ownership info. I’d like to see some documented proof of education and maybe a relationship history. I’d like to know who has satisfactorily completed anger management training, who has kids, who has lousy credit, whatever.

There is a lot of crap going on in a person’s head. 50% of marriages end in divorce, the number one thing couples argue about is money, when people are upset they act (drive) irrationally and erratically. I’m thinking there are a lot of lost jobs and broken marriages piloting V8s right now, and that is, well, kind of flipping terrifying.

Alright, I’m rambling, but you must see my point. People are stressed to the gills right now, and this is manifesting itself as selfishness and recklessness – at least on the road. Everyone I talk to says the same thing. I bet you’ve noticed it too. So what can we do about it?

Teleportation.

That’s right, teleportation. Will somebody please get on that right now. We need some Nightcrawler BAMF shit and we need it now! It is so much more important than figuring out clean coal. For real. Clean coal? that’s like pursuing dry water. Get with the program. We’re almost a decade into the 21st century. Will somebody please tell me why I can’t yet fax my butt to work?