Confessions

Illuminating

You ever heard that saying about the sucker in the room? It goes something like ‘if you can’t pick out the sucker in the room, it’s probably you.’ sometimes, as a volunteer, I feel like I’m in a room full of people who think they’re awesome and generous and super special, but me… I can’t figure out how I got pulled into such a mess. You can get a map and a compass, but it won’t lead you to a bigger sucker than me. You can buy Louis Poulsen lighting, or drag the whole situation out onto an International airport’s tarmac under the blinky blinkies… but the biggest sucker you see will always be me.

Noise

Pedal to the metal…

Earlier tonight I dropped my 8 year old off at a “Kids’ Night Out” fundraiser. These are relatively common in our school district. A bunch of adults with a cause set up the event, usually with the help of a good number of high schoolers who need community service hours. Elementary school kids go and play games, run around in the gym, and eat hot dogs and pizza purchased in advance.

It’s a fun Friday night sort of thing, and I am all in favor of this as a fundraising tactic. Of course, the mindless enthusiasm of the parents who’ve just dropped off one of these Elementary schoolers? Not so cool.

I was nearly sideswiped three times driving that last miracle mile to the school to drop off my guy. I know it’s nighttime and all, but 50 in a school zone is acceptable exactly NEVER.

I’m thinking I should run a crowdfunding campaign for the best best vocal mic for 200 bucks and a good set of external speakers for the car to preach the message of peaceable speed within a 2 mile radius of the school. Makes sense, right?

Life

There’s an app for what now?

I have this Pitfall t-shirt I bought on clearance a few months ago. It is the artwork from the classic Atari game. Lately I’ve been wearing it and getting all sorts of comments from my 11 year old’s friends. Apparently there is a Pitfall app that they’ve all downloaded. I was kind of psyched because I love the old game and used to rock at it (if I do say so myself). I finally hit the app store on my phone a couple days ago and cruised some biggies – most recent Angry Birds pig spin off, Shazam!, goconnect iphone app, and… then I found it. Huzzah!

Oh man. It sucks. It’s not Pitfall at all. It’s a thinly veiled Temple Run rip off (of which I was among the earliest of early adopters). What a bummer. Somebody, please… I beg you… make me some classic 80s Pitfall for iPhone!

Stat!

Life

Grab the can…

I’ve been hearing that old phrase “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” quite a bit lately. What I’ve come to realize is that too many people seem to think that in pretending to abide the sentiment in that statement, one instantly assumes the right to be a complete pain in the ass all the time. Ummmm… no.

The squeaky wheel should be diligent and forthright. The squeaky wheel should raise issues promptly and appropriately. The squeaky wheel should NOT push everyone aside and step up shouting to be heard at the expense of everyone else. That’s just being a good old red, white, and blue a-hole. The squeaky wheel searching for Pandora beads or whatever on a shopping site should not steamroller the comments section (intended for past purchasers to discuss their experience with the product) with questions about the seller.

For that matter, the squeaky wheel should probably never be anywhere near any comments section. Those are usually occupied by PITAs on a mission of destruction.

Or they’re posting comments to get free junk.

Life

Ringing true?

A while ago I asked whether or not my missing wedding ring should mean I’m free. Is it just a symbol or is it something more? Is it actually a document of sorts, imbuing the bond with some sort of greater severity? Am I silly to think about such things? And would a mothers ring from joyjewelers.com or some such make my sweetie something more of a mother than just the simple reality of being a Mom?

Noise

Little noises…

Me, I’m always on the lookout for affordable guitar effects pedals at musician’s friend and similar places, but I have this buddy in a whole other world. He’s all about the custom made boxes. clones and stomp boxes and kit pedals you can tweak tweak tweak to your heart’s content. He’s a man’s man when it comes to tone crafting one chunky little box at a time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Life

Your very own money!

Did you ever want a custom coin with your own awesome image on it? Maybe your own face? King or Queen of your own castle? Sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it. Maybe you should look into making your own money. Stop being a super wuss pants. Make your own money now. Today. Coin based. How is that not the coolest?

For real. Don’t you need to get on that?

Noise

Rock the Lead Line

All my recent ruminations about keyboards and digital pianos and such have me thinking about my amazing new guitar. Well, new to me. It’s a Starfire Special from the short-live but amazingly high-quality Dearmond line put out by Fender right after they acquired Guild in the late 90s. I have several different Dearmond models, all that I love with great passion, but this new super hot and sweet Starfire Special is just awesome. Great action. Great sound. I’m so happy.

Now, pulling the perfect tone from this almost perfect tool is just so much freakin’ fun, but
I have to admit there are some add-ons that could help. Hey, I wouldn’t complain if someone threw a new Boss compressor my way. Sometimes everyone needs a little boost for their lead line jackin’.

Right?

Noise

Keyboard beauty

Hmmmm… who needs a synth when you can grab a 76 key almost grand piano along the lines of the good old Yamaha YPG 235 at Musicians Friend. Damn. I mean, I love my solid (and inexpensive) 88 key Williams allegro (even though, as an Amherst graduate, I should have personal issues with any instrument that has Williams in its name) but a digital GRAND piano for less than $250… hmmmmmmmm.

Noise

Autotune this!

As I ramp up my middle-age mega indie rock recording project, I can’t help but wonder if my digital piano really was the right call over some sort of crazy ass synthesizer like the Korg R3 at Musicians Friend. I mean, I am generally an old school guy with old school needs, so I wanted a digital piano that would sound more or less like a real piano. When I got it, I was going for inexpensive piano sounds, not thousands of bucks worth of synthetic top-40 bullshit sounds. I’m not a fan of autotune and massively synthetic sounds – at least in the sense of reproducing otherwise acoustic sounds (like that of a piano or a human voice). But every once in a while I get a She Blinded Me With Science vibe and wonder about a good ol’ super synth.