It’s my anniversary today. Nine years. Nine long, hard, blending together in a dark cloud of confusion and occasional gastrointestinal distress.

Just kidding.

Actually, it’s been a pretty good ride and I’m a lucky guy. A really lucky guy  seeing as how I can get away with a joke like that on my ninth anniversary with my gross anatomy intact. In fact, Carol is probably laughing right now, reading this. Laughing and sharpening the straight razor.

Ha ha ha
<metallic ring of metal on strop>
Hee hee hee.

And I know I’m no peach to live with, always talking about the best slimming pill and vanity license plates. What a bore. Then again, if she hasn’t figured out how much better she could have done after all these years, well, maybe we were meant for each other.