That sounds like the subtitle to Highlander Part 6, doesn’t it?

Thinking about phones and texting reminds me of something I saw at dinner. We went to a kid-friendly establishment with a deal on kid meals and had a pretty good time. While we were waiting for our food, I noticed a girl who was maybe 18 at a nearby booth. She had long, straight hair, and one hand against the side of her head. Her elbow was bent and she leaned on it. It was a perfectly common pose, a young girl on the phone.

At least, that’s what I thought. There was something odd about the way she spoke, the tilt of her head. I have both witnessed and experienced the cell talker phenomenon. Even if they are sitting right across from you in a restaurant booth, the talker will avoid looking at you as mucha s possible while they chat. There is an exception for guys (and possibly gals) who make a deliberate call to their significant other trying to get out of some prior engagement so they can hang out with their friend. In those instances, the guy (or possibly girl) will usually make frequent eye contact with the friend, since they are usually getting a phone reaming and require moral support. 

Anyway, this girl was not looking away, but rather was making regular eye contact with her dinner companion (a woman, possibly her mother) who had her back to me. There was something unfamiliar to me in this combination, the phone hand to ear coupled with dinner companion eye contact did not seem right. And then I realized what was going on.

The girl was not on the phone. Yet her hand was in phone position, against her head. Two fingers to her temple, her hand fisted, but in a sort of open way. Almost like she was holding an invisible phone. Everything about her posture suggested a phone call, with the exception of the aforementioned companion-eye-contact.

It was like a nervous tick. Or a habit born of such frequent repetition that it becomes unconscious behavior. It was really a little troubling. I mean, I’m not suggesting she wasn’t a perfectly nice and sweet young lady. Surely she is just lovely. But this need to mime phoning, like some bizarro telecommunications security blanket or something…I don’t know. It was weird.

So many people are looking for quick weight loss tips. Here’s one: lose the phone. At least for a while. I know it is only a few ounces, but it’s a start. And if nothing else, breaking the holding habit will free up your arm to do something mildly athletic.

Like curling.