Impatience is…well, it’s burning me up lately. Not my own, of course. While I admit to losing my cool as much as the next guy, it’s not weighing particularly heavy on my mind right now. No, it’s my fellows on this island earth I’m growing concerned with. It’s no new thing, but my experiences on line at the store, or behind the wheel driving to work have been…frankly disappointing.

Driving to work this morning I was on a pseudo-highway that cuts for several miles through a very commercially developed area. Lots of people passing through, many of them working in the stores and shops and restaurants and stations and office parks nearby. Many traveling on to the legitimate highway a mile or so beyond my own office park. It is usually one lane, sometimes a little congested with only one really hang-up area due to a particularly poorly located traffic light. Oh yeah, and there are lots of lights. In the occasional long-stretches between lights the speed goes up to 55, but for most of the stretch, it is 45.

At one green light by a shopping center, there was a little congestion due to another light only about 50 yards down the road. I had a feeling that my light would turn red before that light down the way went green, so I hung at the line so as not to get stuck in the middle of the intersection. And I was correct, because my light went red long before the other went green, and I certainly would have ended up stuck in the middle of an intersection for half a minute or more, blocking the cross traffic. Smart driving right? 

Apparently, this was not the opinion of the schmoe in the little Nissan behind me. As soon as my light turned green again, he gunned his engine and pulled into the right lane, a turn only lane alongside me. He nearly sideswiped a car that was using said turn-only lane properly and there were horns and screeching tires. A second right turn-only car nearly slammed into the first one that had to stop so abruptly. The schmoe’s engine revved like a 70s Charger and he rocketed around me and flew forward. Then he slammed on his brakes because the car in front of him was just rolling forward, following the sluggish traffic.

It was like Zero to 40 to 0…or maybe 5 miles per hour…in the span of 150 feet, like he was atv riding, not car driving. In the process, two accidents were narrowly avoided by other drivers who were clearly more thoughtful and attentive than this schmoe. Totally worth it don’t you think?

For the next mile and a half I was right behind the Nissan, even when traffic opened up. I watched as he did that weaving thing certain aggressive drivers do on one lane roads – like they’re going to pass at any moment, but for the oncoming traffic. It was the “I Can’t Drive 55” music video enacted on the stage we call real life.

When the Nissan schmoe finally pulled into his destination (an unnecessary screeching affair at 40 miles an hour with no blinker) I wondered if it was worth it to him? He was driving like a complete jerk, nearly causing several accident, clearly causing extreme heartburn in all those around him, and he shortened his drive exactly one car length.

 And I was driving the Corolla, so it wasn’t much of a car length at that.