Another way to read

  • by Drew

So I’m an audiobook fan, that much is clear. The thing I can’t totally wrap my head around is ebooks. I get it, and I don’t object or anything, I just haven’t cozied up to a digital book yet. I know some people who are totally dedicated to their devices, as well as the savings associated with buying ebooks versus hard covers.

Maybe its that I haven’t decided if I want to stay with my smart phone and go the kobo ereader route or if I want to throw it all away and go with a super kicked up tablet. I like the idea of being able to watch movies and use the Internet on a thingamabobber that would also allow me to read books. But I don’t know if it outweighs all the other variables. Hmmm… the jury is still out.

Listen Up

  • by Drew

I’m an unabashed and very vocal fan of audiobooks. I fell in love with listening to stories almost 20 years ago when I was driving between Amherst and Boston for band practices and gigs. In the early days it was old time radio shows like the Shadow. A few years later I was living in Connecticut and driving to Boston to see my girlie. At a precursor to the contemporary dollar store I bought a few abridged novels. I was so hooked.

Some years later I discovered digital unabridged novels and started downloading to the old mp3 player like a fiends. I now have well over 250 in my library and I’m not slowing down.

I have friends who say they’d rather buy oriental car floor mats or a solid gold back scratcher than waste their money on having someone read to them. Hey, to each his own, but I listen to a couple books a months (aside from what I read because I still do actually read, believe it or not). Mowing the lawn, washing dishes, chopping wood – all chores that I look forward to because they involve audiobook listening. And the drive to work is a breeze. I am even calmer with all the aggressive drivers on the road when I’m listening. Sweet!

Set them free! Part 4

  • by Drew

Alright, this whole tassel thing has gone on long enough. Let me end it here. and let me end it on an up note, because after a lot of thought, topless after 8 is probably not such a great idea. In a fantasy world is sounds pretty good, because you can control a fantasy. Or rather, in a fantasy you can control who takes their shirt off. In real life… not so much.

Let’s drop the whole idea.

But here’s an idea… what about equestrian helmets? Wait, wait, wait. Don’t knock it yet. Let’s just think about it for a…

You know what, let’s not. It’s a dumb idea. Let’s go back to tube tops and pajama pants on chunkies and keep the boobies on Cinemax.

Set them free! Part 3

  • by Drew

Okay, nipple tassels was an okay idea, and bringing guys into the mix is, dare I say inspired. But… the everybody angle. I’ve been thinking about that, and about the general population in your average Chili’s at 8pm on a Wednesday night and I’m leaning toward a revision. Basically, unless we make diet pills and daily bathing mandatory, The whole drop your shirt thing needs to be optional. 

And this might not be such a bad idea. Then, the only people swinging their tassels will be hot chicks and pretty, smooth chested gay men. Yeah, you’ll still probably have that can’t-hold-2-beers-frat-boy getting naked, but until we can get a budget for nipple police I don’t think we’re going to be able to enforce the restriction I recommended earlier. 

Actually, I’m hoping the optional thing would make slightly less than hot chicks and paunchy dudes actually do a few sit ups and slap on some makeup. Peer pressure, baby. The great motivator.

Of course, the way the peer group is shaping up these days I can just imagine the topless travesty in Wal-Mart around 8:30 on a Tuesday.

Damn.

Set them free! Part 2

  • by Drew

I’ve been thinking about this whole idea of letting the nips come out after dark, and I have to add a few points to my earlier plan. First of all, it can’t be just the ladies. It has to be everyone. Guys too. Yup, I think the guy shirts should come off at 8 along with the pretty ladies. If that doesn’t yank the in ear headphones right out of your head, I don’t know what does.

Except, wait… we need to adjust that a little. All men should have to take off their shirts except for those guys who are already pulling their shirt off after the second beer. Those guys should be punished for the inability to maintain after a glass and a half of Bud Light.

It’s seriously starting to make sense to you, isn’t it?

Set them free!

  • by Drew

You know what we need more of? We need more nipple tassels in everyday life. Totally. I mean, nothing too crazy or racy, but maybe some solid PG-13 type stuff. Don’t you think that would make life better? Even if it didn’t happen until after 8, when the really young and impressionable kids are finally in bed (at least if their parents are TRYING to do a good job). Up until then, everyone can wear loose fitting, blousy button down shirts. And then at 8, a little bell could ring in all the chain restaurants and video stores and movie stores and off come the shirts!

Think about it. Isn’t that the kind of world you want to live in?

Consume. Consume. Consume.

  • by Drew

Hmmm. You don’t see people telling you to buy a new hammer every four years. Like the old one is all banged out and you need a new one. Or a ballpoint pen. You use it until it is dry. THEN you get a new one. What about restaurant aprons or nursing scrubs. Until you get holes in the garment… o you simply can’t get out those blood/spaghetti sauce stains, you keep wearing them, right. You don’t see Marcus nursing uniforms telling you your lab coat is obsolete without the new lapel touchscreen with onboard stethoscope app. Sheesh. We’ve really taken consumption to new heights. Sadly.

Insidious

  • by Drew

Thinking about my obsolete old scanner, I am reminded of this current personal computer ad campaign. There is a person who doesn’t think they need a new computer for whatever reason – mine is fine, new computers are the same as my old one, whatever – and so they turn that person’s home into a ‘computer store.’

I hate this campaign for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the series of smug annoying douches who are converted by this idiotic rip off of those stupid ‘while you were out’ type shows. I noticed subtleties early on that made me suspicious. They had people with accents, possibly in other countries. They have people of various ethnic backgrounds. They are clearly trying to hit us at a subconscious level with the concept that their product appeals to people all over the world from all types of backgrounds, whatever. But it’s all done in such a way that we can all feel comfortable in our bling-oriented America.

What really gets to me now – in the most recent commercial in the campaign, they have started aging the machines. It is no longer ‘my old computer’ but ‘my 4 year old computer.’ In other words, if your computer is 4 years old it is a piece of crap and must be replaced. And the fact of the matter is that most people are just fine with an old machine. They don’t need a bunch of new bells and whistles or a touch screen to navigate facebook. Sure it is nice ot have a new machine regularly, but we can’t let the guy who makes the profit tell us when to upgrade. Otherwise we’d all be driving a new car every 6 months.

Scan this

  • by Drew

I have this great old scanner. It was truly a piece of work back in the day. Top of the line, commercial quality. Not like the standard residential nonsense ten or so years ago – you know, free with the purchase of a desktop type scanners. Thing is, the residential scanners these days are pretty much just as good.

So I tried to unload it at the tag sale we had a few weeks ago. I really would have been happy to just give it away. It needs scanner software, but really just the drivers. A few years ago I upgraded to a new machine and couldn’t find install disks. So I just searched around and found the drivers online.

Man, I hate to even think about throwing this thing out, but old tech gets obsolete so fast. I mean, its barely old and its obsolete. Bummer.

If its worth the going…

  • by Drew

Some people want fame and fortune. They want attention, to be hounded by the media. They want their picture to be taken incessantly, their name to be a household word. Many of those people have never had anyone interested in taking your picture, and that’s why they think it would be great. But there are those who used to have a name bandied about the suburban dinner table who’ve now been exiled to fringe obscurity. Perhaps they crave the attention most of all. Need in the wake of loss.

But then there are people with simpler desires and goals. They want to do honest work for an honest wage. They want to find a great wine to celebrate with. They want to get off work in time to pick up the kids and go to the drive in. They want a good new book or cheap trucking stuff or an ice cream sundae or a car with decent gas mileage.

Some people just want to be left alone.

© 2026 Drew Bancroft. All rights reserved. Totally.