The Last Driveway Anecdote

It’s like I have seaweed for brains. I can’t get over this topic. But here’s one more driveway turnaround anecdote and then I’ll let it go. For a while. Maybe.

One time I was coming home with the family from a dinner out or something. We made the right turn into our driveway as a car came flying form the other direction. Now let me take a moment to point out that we have a reasonably long driveway that makes a sort of S turn with a bit of an incline. Not a steep hill and maybe a reversed S, depending on yor angle. But the point is that you turn into my driveway and then have to make a pretty quick, pretty sharp turn in the other direction. So, right turn in and then a fast turn left up the S curve.

Oh yeah, there was a car behind us. Not tailgating or anything, but following us at a respectful distance and reasonable speed.

So we turn into the driveway and the guy speeding from the other direction suddenly cuts into our driveway, cutting off the driver behind us and nearly rear ending my car which was just completing that left turn up the S.

Of course, I had no reason to expect some random dude would turn into our driveway, certainly not right behind us as we pulled in. Especially considering that driver’s high rate of speed, and the fact that there is a driveway across the street that, albeit made of gravel, would not require cutting off opposing traffic or narrowly avoiding a collision. But what do I know?

And here’s the capper, because even though this seems ridiculous to me, I have told this story to several people I consider poor drivers, and at this point they still don’t understand my complaint. Even with the capper, of course, I know plenty of drivers who would support the other driver’s right to do whatever he wants, no matter how dangerous because “nobody got hurt, right?”

Anyway, as promised – the capper. The guy who nearly caused two accidents making an illegal and obnoxious (not to mention dangerous) turn into my driveway? He honked at me.

Yup, he laid on the horn, apparently because I didn’t take my S driveway at 60 miles per hour and caused him to slam on his brakes.

Go bless America…

Another thing…

Yeah, beating the dead horse, I get it. But here’s the other thing.. you know, talking about driveway turnaround politics. When I realize I am heading the wrong way or something and have to use a stranger’s driveway for a turnaround I always scout for a quiet, empty driveway. If there’s some dude watering his lawn or something, I keep looking.

That said, I have had people pull into my driveway when I’m standing right there. Often they’re driving recklessly. I had a woman pull into my driveway one day when I was just grabbing the garbage pail from the end of the drive. She squealed in, almost hit me, and gave me an annoyed look because she had to turn hard to avoid running me over.

It took me a moment to regain my composure after leaping out of the way. I raised my arms arms in a what the hell gesture, trying to find words to express my…discomfiture. Of cours,e these would have been of the four letter variety, but I didn’t have a chance. She was already pulling away, shaking her head like I had just done something obnoxious. Like, I don’t know, nearly running someone over in their own driveway while making an illegal high speed 3 point turn. Maybe something like that.

I look forward to the day when we have video conferencing services in every car with license plates that double as phone numbers of a sort – so we can cal

Not My Asphalt

So in complaining about slacker parents, I once again forgot what got me on the topic. This morning, a few minutes ago, actually, I was waiting for the bus with my boys. It was raining a little, so we got in the car and were listening to old school indie rock when the bus came. The boys jumped out and waited for the bus driver’s indication that it was safe to cross the street. While watching, I noticed a late parent careering up behind the bus with the blinking lights and manic waving.

The kid got out and made it aboard and the bus pulled away. Then something halfway between amusing and obnoxious happened. The late parent now wanted to turn around and head back from whence they came. We are near the end of a long road, and the remaining two driveways before getting on a 55mph main road are not convenient for turning around in. One is a steep muddy hill, one is very narrow, in a precarious position near the end of the road where drivers frequently cut the corner. It’s not a good place for a Mom in her robe and bedhead to attempt a quick u-turn.

So they always want to use our driveway to turn around in. Sure, they could turn around in the driveway directly across the road from ours, but that one is crunchy gravel and you can’t execute a fast, squeaky, Starsky and Hutch 3 pointer. Our nicely paved drive is so much more convenient.

So the problem this morning was that I was sitting in the car at the bottom of the driveway. Usually I start the engine and back up after my quick wave to the departing driver, but this morning I took my time. I was rocking out to the song on the CD player and in no rush.

The late parent was clearly irritated that I didn’t back up right away, frocing her to use the driveway across the street. She actually shot me a dirty look. Does she not realize how expensive it was to pave my driveway? Does she not respect the fact that turning around is technically a violation of my private property? I mean, I know its a fact of life that people will turn around in my driveway. I’ve done it plenty of times in other people’s driveays, but it is still my driveway. It is not a public throughfare. She is not entitled to use my driveway simply because she’s a slacker Mom who couldn’t drag her ass out of bed this morning.

Geez, throw me a smile or a thank you wave. Give me some Macmall coupons. Let your robe fall open “accidentally.” I don’t know, but keep the freakin; attitude to yourself, lady.