I’m heading to the dentist today. Just a checkup, along with my 4 year-old’s first cleaning and my 7 year-old’s second filling. I don’t really mind going to the dentist, even when I need work done, but I am a little hesitant this time.

Like I said, it has nothing to do with fear of pain or anything like that. It’s actually because I have a health savings account. Weird, huh?

Yeah, usually I love this thing. I have pretax money set aside form my paycheck and when I have any medical expense, I just use the special debit card. The problem is, whenever I get dental work done, I start getting letters form the provider. I need to prove that it was a legitimate medical expense. And thus begins the paper war.

See, my regular health insurance provides Explanation of Benefit forms, my dental does not. And without these EOB forms, it is a struggle to find the correct piece of paper to make the debit card people leave me alone. I have gotten itemized lists of services with handwritten notes from the providers, all kinds of stuff, but they want that EOB. and I can’t get one.

Want to know what is so special about the EOB? Even though they say it is proof of “legitimate” expenses, the EOB does not necessarily itemize the work. It’s actually pretty vague and often coded. What it does show, however, is a crucial few numbers. It shows the cost of the procedure, the amount that insurance paid, and the amount that I paid. See, they don’t want me to attempt some sort of fraud by double-dipping and getting reimbursed, tax free, for something that was covered by insurance.

OK, yeah, like I’m going to risk my job and insurance and serious medical fraud charges to get a few hundred bucks pre-tax. I mean, remember, the only way to get access to this money is to put it aside from my paycheck. It’s my money, the only benefit is that it is essentially untaxed income. And there’s a $5000 cap or something like that, so what is my maximum takeaway possible? A few hundred? Maybe a grand?

Yeah, that’s worth it.

Anyway, I don’t begrudge the provider because they are supposed to police this stuff and make sure the expenses are legitimate…but that’s not what they’re actually doing. That’s what everybody says they’re doing, but it’s not true. They’re not interested in the legitimacy of the procedures. Refusing my itemized list of services proved that. They are only interested in making sure that I’m not trying to get away with income tax-avoidance on $150 or so.

How’s that for  valuable use of time?