Hah!

You get it right…green.

The thing is, I have recently learned of the range of Hulks in the modern Marvel Comics universe. The Gray Hulk has actually been around for years, I think he happened back in the 80s, but did you know there is now a Red Hulk? Yup. They call him Red Hulk. I don’t know if he eats at Red Robin, but I bet he’ll be all over Redenvelope anniversary gifts when he finally ties the knot.

Yup, I saw an SUV in the first spot of a row in a lot with the rear passenger side tire fully up on the curb. So, like, the rear of the car, on one side was a full 7 or 8 inches off the ground, and while it was an SUV, it was like a little Nissan one or something. It didn’t even have big tires or much clearance. Seriously.

How lazy do you have to be to pull into a space, at such a ridiculous angle that the rear tire rides up on the curb and then just stop there? Hell, the bump onto the curb must have been teeth crunching. Again, it was Walmart, so there’s at least a 60% chance the driver was carrying plenty of extra padding to ease the bouncing, but still…

When are they going to offer online schooling for parking cars? Maybe we’ll see a reality show where they make contestants pull straight into a space…immunity goes to anyone who remembers to use a turn signal.

Maybe in the Mall Food Court.

My 8 year old can read a comic to my 5 year old. Maybe Super Hero Squad or a Marvel Adventures Super Hero issue. I have a couple of Spider-Mans and one with Dr. Strange teaming up with Spidey. I’ve also got a print out of Brave and the Bold from the DC Comics kids site.

Carol will probably read Fables or Madame Xanadu. That’s right, I’ve done it. I’ve succeeded in getting her interest in the comic medium duly sparked. Maybe she’d even like that first issue of The Goon Dark Horse just reprinted.

As for me, I’ll have to keep it real with some GI Joe, one of my favorite all time titles. What else? Definitely Green Hornet – probably one of the mini-series from Now Comics in the 90s. What else? I suppose I should go all out and represent with some super-hero stuff. Hmmmm. Maybe a Wolverine one-shot? Or maybe I’ll re-read the first few issues of Birds of Prey. Maybe I’ll even get that one on Carol’s short list. It is really one of the best super hero titles I’ve ever read. Up there with X-Factor. Great stuff.

Last week I finally found a decent looking chiminea and decided to go for it. Part of my motivation was that I had promised to do a backyard camp out with the boys and it seemed a pretty easy and safe way to get the s’mores on.

We did it again tonight. Not the campout, just the s’mores, and man I love it. I’m really looking forward to cool Autumn nights toasting anything from marshmallows to my toes, sipping a glass of wine and…just hanging out. Oh yeah.

Of course, removing the physical addiction is only a piece of the puzzle, the psychological addiction is surely as bad if not far worse. Ever tried to quit smoking? You know what I mean. even weeks, months or years after you last butt, long after the nicotine is out of your system, the urge is still there.

I’m not usre how I feel about this whole thing, though. I mean, think about it. Two great TV shows, The Sopranos and Breaking Bad have important episodes that center around old school rehab center. If the treatment and such is handled in a matter of 5 days…I don’t know. Where’s the drama?

I read comic books.

Yup, it’s national ‘Read Comics in Public’ day…or something like that. And what a great idea, right? Call me a geek. Call me a fool. Call me childish. Call me whatever you want. I love ‘em and I’m going to figure out a way to take part in the festivities.

Maybe festivities is a strong word. I don’t think there’s going to be, like, a big party or anything. I mean, I’ve heard there will be some regional meetups, but I haven’t heard about any around me. And anyway, who wants to hang out at Starbucks with a bunch of comic book geeks anyway?

Just kidding.

But in all seriousness, I have always loved comics. I read them and collected avidly for a couple years when I was young, and then I went into trade paperback world. During my college years, when cash was especially scarce, I relegated myself to only the occasional graphic novel or trade paperback to keep the old fire burning. Then, when I started working, I started buying the trades more frequently, but still…I was so totally hopelessly out of the loop. In the last few months, though, I have been visiting a fantastic local comic shop and doing some bulk buying from a variety of back issue suppliers and auction sites. Yeah baby, I’m back with a vengeance.

And the stories, the quality of the writing, has really kept up with my expectations. At least, in enough instances to keep me jolly well satisfied. I don’t want to sound annoying, like some born-again disciple whose day of observance is Wednesday (Thursday after holidays) not Sunday. Most of my peers never strayed from the path. They did not abandon the weekly joy to wait for the trades to come out a few months later. So when I start talking it up, I most sound like a bit of a convert, preaching to the choir as it were. Sure, I want to testify, but what of my brethren who never lost their way? To put it plainly, I don’t want to tick anybody off.

That’s why, after much deliberation, I’ve decided NOT to wrap myself in C9 led christmas lights while reading GI Joe Origins and X-Factor on the steps of the Town Hall.

So let me be a respectful prodigal and hope my support of Geek Day (there I go again…but with affection) brings a little awareness to the unwashed masses. Maybe someone will even see me reading a comic and be inspired to step out of the closet themselves. Or maybe I can even find a newbie and convert him or her to the Illustrated Word. It may not be salvation, but it sure feels good.

Maybe if cat fighting among paparazzi wannabes, eating disgusting stuff, or glorified talent show performances are your thing, you can find something worth watching. Personally I don’t care if you can dance, sing, bitch, kvetch, cohabitate, diet, cook, decorate cakes or eat bugs in a competitive situation. You want a good and interesting reality show with real people? How about navigating the red tape of insurance claims?

Get a dozen people who’ve gone through surgery and see who is most persistent in refusing to take no for an answer. The winner actually gets his or her bills paid and the resulting ulcer is covered! Hell, give the winner a get out of pre-existing condition card while you’re at it. Or maybe you can do one of those get-the-job-at-the-end-of-the-season shows to hire someone who can actually explain the ins and outs of ssdi or Medicare/Medicaid… No, on second thought, I don’t think that’s actually possible.

And yet, I did discover a reality-ish TV show that I enjoyed last night. I probably won’t ever watch it again since I was halfway through the 4th episode when I trudged up to bed last night, but in a pinch. The show was Bait Car, and in the fine tradition of the greatest reality show of all time – Cops – we see the criminals at work, on camera, and we see them busted.

The concept is simple. Cops ditch a bait car in a crime ridden neighborhood through any of a number of methods, surreptitious or otherwise. Eventually, hooligans descend upon the vehicle and do their dirty deeds. As they rifle through the contents of the car, they usually notice that keys have been left in the ignition. Eureka! 

It’s all on camera and the cops have a device that will cause the car’s engine to stop once the crook has to driven to a more or less safe and out of the way location. They usually also can lock the doors so the villain is stuck inside. I guess it depends on the budget of the police force in question.

I don’t know how long this show has been on so it may be old news for anyone who’s had television for the last 15 months, but for me…pure viewing gold.

It turns out he was in North Carolina. Good old NC, the Outer Banks. I was…mildly surprised. I mean, I thought we were getting together and he never mentioned anything about North Carolina. For a minute I was more than a little peeved. Like, you might want to start pricing NC health insurance tough guy ’cause I’m coming down to give you a pop in the nose. But I settled down. So what if he went on vacation and didn’t mention it to me. I’ll get over it.

I guess.

I tell you, these people with time shares can be so insensitive.