PS Blog

Lo-speed Bump

  • by Drew

I was in a parking lot the other day and saw the height of bad parking. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of bad parking in my day. I’ve seen double parking, triple parking, I think I even saw quadruple parking once, but that pickup was towing a trailer, so…I guess that was a little understandable. Yeah I think I seen ’bout everything when I seen an elephant fly. Or maybe in this case it was seeing an elephant park. After all, it was the Walmart parking lot.

Yup, I saw an SUV in the first spot of a row in a lot with the rear passenger side tire fully up on the curb. So, like, the rear of the car, on one side was a full 7 or 8 inches off the ground, and while it was an SUV, it was like a little Nissan one or something. It didn’t even have big tires or much clearance. Seriously.

How lazy do you have to be to pull into a space, at such a ridiculous angle that the rear tire rides up on the curb and then just stop there? Hell, the bump onto the curb must have been teeth crunching. Again, it was Walmart, so there’s at least a 60% chance the driver was carrying plenty of extra padding to ease the bouncing, but still…

When are they going to offer online schooling for parking cars? Maybe we’ll see a reality show where they make contestants pull straight into a space…immunity goes to anyone who remembers to use a turn signal.

Confessions

Going Public

  • by Drew

Tomorrow is the day – read comic in public day, that is. I mentioned it a few days ago. Tomorrow is the day. A pile of comics, a park bench, or maybe one in the mall. Something like that. I need to find a place that I can get my read on with the kids in tow, so it may not be a major showing…but it will be a showing. No life-sized card board cut-outs, sexy costumes or Batmobile rides

Maybe in the Mall Food Court.

My 8 year old can read a comic to my 5 year old. Maybe Super Hero Squad or a Marvel Adventures Super Hero issue. I have a couple of Spider-Mans and one with Dr. Strange teaming up with Spidey. I’ve also got a print out of Brave and the Bold from the DC Comics kids site.

Carol will probably read Fables or Madame Xanadu. That’s right, I’ve done it. I’ve succeeded in getting her interest in the comic medium duly sparked. Maybe she’d even like that first issue of The Goon Dark Horse just reprinted.

As for me, I’ll have to keep it real with some GI Joe, one of my favorite all time titles. What else? Definitely Green Hornet – probably one of the mini-series from Now Comics in the 90s. What else? I suppose I should go all out and represent with some super-hero stuff. Hmmmm. Maybe a Wolverine one-shot? Or maybe I’ll re-read the first few issues of Birds of Prey. Maybe I’ll even get that one on Carol’s short list. It is really one of the best super hero titles I’ve ever read. Up there with X-Factor. Great stuff.

Booze

Fire it Up!

  • by Drew

I’ve been fascinated by outdoor fireplaces for years, chimineas in particular. I’ve experienced a few, though, and in most instances I wasn’t too impressed. The big problem has always been smokiness. Too much smoke in fact. But anything that had an approimation of a chimney seemed to be at the forefront, performance-wise.

Last week I finally found a decent looking chiminea and decided to go for it. Part of my motivation was that I had promised to do a backyard camp out with the boys and it seemed a pretty easy and safe way to get the s’mores on.

We did it again tonight. Not the campout, just the s’mores, and man I love it. I’m really looking forward to cool Autumn nights toasting anything from marshmallows to my toes, sipping a glass of wine and…just hanging out. Oh yeah.

Booze

Detox

  • by Drew

Are you familiar with rapid detox? The concept is to get someone off opiates in a matter of hours, as opposed to days. And by this I mean to help the person get over the physical addiction to the opiate. All that great withdrawal footage in movies? A thing of the past. It seems the procedure is done by an anesthesiologist and allows the individual to more or less sleep through the worst aspects of withdrawal.

Of course, removing the physical addiction is only a piece of the puzzle, the psychological addiction is surely as bad if not far worse. Ever tried to quit smoking? You know what I mean. even weeks, months or years after you last butt, long after the nicotine is out of your system, the urge is still there.

I’m not usre how I feel about this whole thing, though. I mean, think about it. Two great TV shows, The Sopranos and Breaking Bad have important episodes that center around old school rehab center. If the treatment and such is handled in a matter of 5 days…I don’t know. Where’s the drama?

Life

Coming Out

  • by Drew

I’m coming out of the closet on Saturday. Officially. No more whispered back room conversations. No more looking away and being afraid to make eye contact. No more faking it or denying it or living a lie. On Saturday I am going to let the whole world know the truth.

I read comic books.

Yup, it’s national ‘Read Comics in Public’ day…or something like that. And what a great idea, right? Call me a geek. Call me a fool. Call me childish. Call me whatever you want. I love ‘em and I’m going to figure out a way to take part in the festivities.

Maybe festivities is a strong word. I don’t think there’s going to be, like, a big party or anything. I mean, I’ve heard there will be some regional meetups, but I haven’t heard about any around me. And anyway, who wants to hang out at Starbucks with a bunch of comic book geeks anyway?

Just kidding.

But in all seriousness, I have always loved comics. I read them and collected avidly for a couple years when I was young, and then I went into trade paperback world. During my college years, when cash was especially scarce, I relegated myself to only the occasional graphic novel or trade paperback to keep the old fire burning. Then, when I started working, I started buying the trades more frequently, but still…I was so totally hopelessly out of the loop. In the last few months, though, I have been visiting a fantastic local comic shop and doing some bulk buying from a variety of back issue suppliers and auction sites. Yeah baby, I’m back with a vengeance.

And the stories, the quality of the writing, has really kept up with my expectations. At least, in enough instances to keep me jolly well satisfied. I don’t want to sound annoying, like some born-again disciple whose day of observance is Wednesday (Thursday after holidays) not Sunday. Most of my peers never strayed from the path. They did not abandon the weekly joy to wait for the trades to come out a few months later. So when I start talking it up, I most sound like a bit of a convert, preaching to the choir as it were. Sure, I want to testify, but what of my brethren who never lost their way? To put it plainly, I don’t want to tick anybody off.

That’s why, after much deliberation, I’ve decided NOT to wrap myself in C9 led christmas lights while reading GI Joe Origins and X-Factor on the steps of the Town Hall.

So let me be a respectful prodigal and hope my support of Geek Day (there I go again…but with affection) brings a little awareness to the unwashed masses. Maybe someone will even see me reading a comic and be inspired to step out of the closet themselves. Or maybe I can even find a newbie and convert him or her to the Illustrated Word. It may not be salvation, but it sure feels good.

Life

bait

  • by Drew

So we’ve got TV back. Several people have been asking me about it. I mean, we dropped service over a year ago when I realized there was a weekend-long nonstop Spongebob marathon on multiple channels and my kids were, instead, watching a Spongebob DVD because it had “the one we want to watch.” Now, after a 14 or 15 month hiatus, the verdict is in. We’ve missed nothing. Sure, I like a few things here and there, and it is nice to be able to flip the TV on and not have to select a DVD or Netflix streaming program. But really, I mostly just waste time looking for something to watch…or watching something I’ve already seen because there’s nothing else on.

Maybe if cat fighting among paparazzi wannabes, eating disgusting stuff, or glorified talent show performances are your thing, you can find something worth watching. Personally I don’t care if you can dance, sing, bitch, kvetch, cohabitate, diet, cook, decorate cakes or eat bugs in a competitive situation. You want a good and interesting reality show with real people? How about navigating the red tape of insurance claims?

Get a dozen people who’ve gone through surgery and see who is most persistent in refusing to take no for an answer. The winner actually gets his or her bills paid and the resulting ulcer is covered! Hell, give the winner a get out of pre-existing condition card while you’re at it. Or maybe you can do one of those get-the-job-at-the-end-of-the-season shows to hire someone who can actually explain the ins and outs of ssdi or Medicare/Medicaid… No, on second thought, I don’t think that’s actually possible.

And yet, I did discover a reality-ish TV show that I enjoyed last night. I probably won’t ever watch it again since I was halfway through the 4th episode when I trudged up to bed last night, but in a pinch. The show was Bait Car, and in the fine tradition of the greatest reality show of all time – Cops – we see the criminals at work, on camera, and we see them busted.

The concept is simple. Cops ditch a bait car in a crime ridden neighborhood through any of a number of methods, surreptitious or otherwise. Eventually, hooligans descend upon the vehicle and do their dirty deeds. As they rifle through the contents of the car, they usually notice that keys have been left in the ignition. Eureka! 

It’s all on camera and the cops have a device that will cause the car’s engine to stop once the crook has to driven to a more or less safe and out of the way location. They usually also can lock the doors so the villain is stuck inside. I guess it depends on the budget of the police force in question.

I don’t know how long this show has been on so it may be old news for anyone who’s had television for the last 15 months, but for me…pure viewing gold.

Life

OBXed Out

  • by Drew

I was supposed to meet up with this guy a week or so ago. He never came by so I called him the other day. I said “hey, where you at?” and he said “the ocean.” Since I don’t live particularly close to any ocean, and he is local, I asked “Which ocean? The close one or the one that’s really far away?”

It turns out he was in North Carolina. Good old NC, the Outer Banks. I was…mildly surprised. I mean, I thought we were getting together and he never mentioned anything about North Carolina. For a minute I was more than a little peeved. Like, you might want to start pricing NC health insurance tough guy ’cause I’m coming down to give you a pop in the nose. But I settled down. So what if he went on vacation and didn’t mention it to me. I’ll get over it.

I guess.

I tell you, these people with time shares can be so insensitive.

PS Blog

impatience

  • by Drew

Impatience is…well, it’s burning me up lately. Not my own, of course. While I admit to losing my cool as much as the next guy, it’s not weighing particularly heavy on my mind right now. No, it’s my fellows on this island earth I’m growing concerned with. It’s no new thing, but my experiences on line at the store, or behind the wheel driving to work have been…frankly disappointing.

Driving to work this morning I was on a pseudo-highway that cuts for several miles through a very commercially developed area. Lots of people passing through, many of them working in the stores and shops and restaurants and stations and office parks nearby. Many traveling on to the legitimate highway a mile or so beyond my own office park. It is usually one lane, sometimes a little congested with only one really hang-up area due to a particularly poorly located traffic light. Oh yeah, and there are lots of lights. In the occasional long-stretches between lights the speed goes up to 55, but for most of the stretch, it is 45.

At one green light by a shopping center, there was a little congestion due to another light only about 50 yards down the road. I had a feeling that my light would turn red before that light down the way went green, so I hung at the line so as not to get stuck in the middle of the intersection. And I was correct, because my light went red long before the other went green, and I certainly would have ended up stuck in the middle of an intersection for half a minute or more, blocking the cross traffic. Smart driving right? 

Apparently, this was not the opinion of the schmoe in the little Nissan behind me. As soon as my light turned green again, he gunned his engine and pulled into the right lane, a turn only lane alongside me. He nearly sideswiped a car that was using said turn-only lane properly and there were horns and screeching tires. A second right turn-only car nearly slammed into the first one that had to stop so abruptly. The schmoe’s engine revved like a 70s Charger and he rocketed around me and flew forward. Then he slammed on his brakes because the car in front of him was just rolling forward, following the sluggish traffic.

It was like Zero to 40 to 0…or maybe 5 miles per hour…in the span of 150 feet, like he was atv riding, not car driving. In the process, two accidents were narrowly avoided by other drivers who were clearly more thoughtful and attentive than this schmoe. Totally worth it don’t you think?

For the next mile and a half I was right behind the Nissan, even when traffic opened up. I watched as he did that weaving thing certain aggressive drivers do on one lane roads – like they’re going to pass at any moment, but for the oncoming traffic. It was the “I Can’t Drive 55” music video enacted on the stage we call real life.

When the Nissan schmoe finally pulled into his destination (an unnecessary screeching affair at 40 miles an hour with no blinker) I wondered if it was worth it to him? He was driving like a complete jerk, nearly causing several accident, clearly causing extreme heartburn in all those around him, and he shortened his drive exactly one car length.

 And I was driving the Corolla, so it wasn’t much of a car length at that.

Noise

Verizon Sucks

  • by Drew

We had a recent run-in with Verizon. See, we’d been running Vonage off our cable modem for well over a year, but the phone quality was really starting to deteriorate. Maybe it was the cable connection, maybe it was Vonage, I don’t know. But when Verizon came at us with DSL and phone as a combo, we were ecstatic. See, for years I’ve wanted DSL but it is not available where we are. Too much space between homes, too far from the phone company’s nearest station or whatever. But technology came to the boonies…or so we were led to believe.

I jumped on a combo offer that would have gotten me phone and high speed internet for a bit less than my cable modem/Vonage setup. Fantastic!

 Or not. A month after I placed the order, when Verizon was supposed to hook up our high speed, they let us know they couldn’t offer the service. I was informed by email, sent after 9pm the night before it was supposed to be installed. Needless to say I was pissed because my cable was due to be shut off, Vonage was already cancelled, and I was stuck.

So I called Verizon and got a grudging apology from a kind of bitchy customer service rep. When I explained that they were really screwing me she said, “yeah, like I said, sorry.” When I related that the package I had selected offered some substantial discounts, I asked if they would still honor those discounts.

Rep: No.
Me: Excuse me.
Rep: No. There’s no discount for the phone package if it is not bundled.
Me: But I was supposed to get phone and internet for $55 a month. Now you’re telling me I get phone for $50.
Rep: The high speed and phone bundle has never been offered for $55 a month. $59.95 is the price.
Me: O…K…I mean I have the email right here…well, that’s neither here nor there. The point is you totally did a bait and switch here. You offered me a deal on services you can’t provide and now I’ve cancelled my other services and you won’t even offer a discount.
Rep: The bundle discount must have been on the price of the high speed service.
Me: So, that’s it?
Rep:……….
Me: You realize you’re forcing me to cancel my Verizon service.
Rep:……… 

So…talk about being total douche bags and NOT doing the right thing. I realize that Verizon has a total monopoly on all the lines in my area. In the past I got around them by using other phone companies. It always astounded me that I could get cheaper (and better service) from a company like MCI that was leasing the lines than I could get from Verizon…who owns everything.

Well, in the end I went with the cable triple play offer that brings phone and high speed through a new cable modem and so far so good. We’ve also got TV back to the great joy of the kids…but that’s another post.

Did I hurt Verizon by cancelling my account? No, not really, but it did feel good. And ultimately, if they keep screwing up in the servicing world, and if they keep squeezing their customers to keep the shareholders happy, they won’t last. It would be a huge, long fall, but I’ve seen it happen to a number of other telecom giants for all the same reasons.

By the way – just to throw some more chum in the water, I am not the only person who experienced the old bait and switch at the hands of Verizon. A friend who runs a small business went through the exact same thing. He got the same promise of service, switched his phone and committed to switch his internet to Verizon (and he, too, was offered all for $55 incidentally) and they never showed up for his connection date. When he called to question them about it, he was told they couldn’t provide service and he never should have been allowed to sign up. Nice, huh? Now he’s in a fight with Verizon, and in the process has discovered several of his customers who’ve gone through the same thing.

 So maybe our numbers aren’t that small. Maybe the bait and switch and screw the customer mentality is a standard Verizon business practice. Who knows? It looks pretty bad to me. All I can say is I’ll be happy to sign on to the Class Action when it comes around.

Life

Toddler Vampires

  • by Drew

Wouldn’t it be kind of cute if there were baby vampires? I mean, not those freaky high-speed horror movie vampires coming after you in the middle of the night or anything. I just mean, well, I don’t know. Can’t you just see the vampire family hanging out in their living room in the middle of the night? Picture it.

There’s baby vampire, sucking on a bottle of plasma while Mommy V rocks in her shermag glider and cuddles him close. No, I don’t think nursing would come into play. And there’s Daddy in his wool, button down sweater, chuckling as Toddler Vamp gnaws his pacifier.

“Do you think we should take away his puggie?” Momma Vampire asks.

“Why?” says Dad.

“We don’t want his fangs to come in crooked,” replies Mom.

“And braces are so expensive and I just lost my dental coverage,” adds Dad.

Ahhhh, just another night at home with the Vampire family.

© 2026 Drew Bancroft. All rights reserved. Totally.