Booze

Servicing the Masses

  • by Drew

I’m still a little worked up from that last post. As someone who has spent much of his life working for smaller operations, the assumptions and expectations of certain customers can range from unwieldy to complete unrealistic. I mean, in a small retail operation like the liquor store I was talking about, advanced POS systems are often out of the question. Not only are the upfront costs substantial and prohibitive, but with a business that has a constantly rotating inventory, the overhead involved in keeping it up to date is impractical.

I mean, I know how nice it is to be able to scan things in Target to see if they’re on sale yet and such, but in a small store, can’t you just ask somebody? I mean, in New York it is already a law that everything has to be clearly marked with either a shelf sign or a price tag on the bottle. A few years ago I read about a Wal Mart that was fined heavily for putting out merchandise without properly tagging it. So, isn’t that enough?

Booze

The customer is always…

  • by Drew

Right? I dont’ know if I believe that. I mean, the customer should always be shown respect. I might even go so far as to say the customer should always be shown patience and tolerance, even when the customer is completely wrong.

I was in a store the other day and witnessed a truly painful interaction between a store employee and her customer. Let me rephrase that. I witnessed an interaction between a patient, young woman and the brain dead simpleton who should have been shopping for the best wrinkle creams but instead was buying from the 4 for $20 wine rack with only three bottles in hand.

First of all, the clerk politely pointed out that it was a 4 for $20 promotion, that some of the wines in the sale went for $7.99 or $8.99 on their own. I thought this was a good bit of info, as someone who tends to buy booze in bulk.

The customer made a nasty reply of the “if I wanted 4 I would have picked 4” variety.

The clerk did not seem taken aback at all, a surprise since I felt like I should be apologizing for the customer’s remark. She then said that “technically” the customer was supposed to buy 4 bottles to get the sale price, but she could take care of it.

The customer said something like “whatever” in her ongoing posture of hostility, suggesting that money was no object. Now I had seen her shopping a few minutes earlier and was pretty sure she had intentionally gone for the cheap stuff, but clearly she felt it was important to affect an air that said “money is no object.”

The clerk started entering the prices on the cash register and the woman gave her a glare. “Why don’t you just scan them in.” The clerk explained that they do not have that sort of system. The customer shook her head at this clear failure.

Here’s where it gets funny. When the clerk told her the total, which was $16 and change, the woman got pissy again. “I thought I was getting the deal,” she snapped.

The clerk finally seemed to be losing her balance. She indicated that she did not understand and the customer gave her a math lesson. “4 for 20 is 5 bucks a bottle, right? So 3 should be $15. You said you were giving me the deal price.”

“Yes,” the clerk said. “But there’s tax.”

Then there was a diatribe on tax and how liquor should not be taxed because it’s not taxed in other states and New York prices are already ridiculous blah blah blah.

Obviously I have a lot of reasons to dislike this customer. She was browbeating the clerk, she feigned not caring about price when clearly it was among her primary motivations, she disparaged the shop and its processes and systems. And she was really mean looking too.

Life

Not to be a hater…

  • by Drew

I guess I could correct that to Haiti-er, but I feel I should mention something. I’ve been hearing a lot of hoopla about the ridiculous amounts of money that credit card companies make from charitable donations. By now I know most of them have promised to waive those fees on donations to Haiti charities and and relief, but there’s a bigger issue here. I mean, I don’t want to totally side step the tragedy in Haiti, but there are a few things to consider.

First, this is neither the first or last tragedy of its kind. The credit card companies made a mint on Katrina and the tsunami and countless other tragedies. They make a mint from any charitable donations made using a card – year round. You give to your alma mater? You’re also padding the bonus of a credit card company CEO.

But that’s not the worst of it. These guys take a healthy chunk from retailers as well. Now, you may not care if Walmart has to pay a percentage of its net to allow for the convenience of accepting credit cards and not having to deal with cash. But do you know they pay lower fees than little mom and pop shops? Yup, it is a fact. Merchant fees care completely negotiable, and the better rates the big boys get, the crappier rates available to the little guys.

It’s a tough time. Lots of people need jobs, health care, debt relief, basic necessities. So if you’re going to get all pissed about credit card companies making money off a tragedy, remember that their standard business practices are often unfair to small, local businesses. Every day.

Life

I “Like” It

  • by Drew

I, like many of you I’m sure, am on Facebook. I was actually an early Facebooker from back when you had to log on with an actual college email address proving your alumni-cred. Any of you remember that? It used to be much harder to join Facebook. Yes, it was actually hard to join if you didn’t use an alumni email address as your primary email address. I mostly joined because my employer provides a wide range of services to nonprofits, many being schools. We did some early application integration with Facebook, and it was helpful for many of us to register.

I did have my famous ex-sort-of-girlfriend slash stalker slash confessional meth user slash wildly inappropriate hussy incident, and was turned off good ol’ FB for some time. Then I connected with some old friends, some genuinely good people, and things started looking up.

Now I am a somewhat casual user. I probably average a couple checks a day as long as my iPhone is handy. I rarely open the site in an actual browser. But I get the status updates, the real meat of the experience for me. One of my favorites is what I see as a fan of NPR. With a very small number of exceptions, I actually do not usually “fan” anything or anyone, but since I was doing some design work for an NPR project, and Facebook integration was of peripheral interest, I went ahead. Now I am treated to a variety of teaser headlines and article stubs, usually several times a day.

Then there are the inevitable comments – NPR has a lot of fans. Very vocal fans. And not always as intellectually impressive as they seem to think. I actually would have hoped that fans of NPR would be a little better with the grammar and spelling than fans of, say, Bubba Ho Tep. Not so.

Today I saw an amusing article. It was about court case over the gay marriage ban in California. At the time I saw the post, it was only about fifteen minutes old and there were already several dozen comments. There were also about 50 people who’d ticked that “Like” button giving the article a thumbs up. The funny thing to me is that the article did not take a stance on the issue. It was about problems with the case on both sides. Props and criticisms from both sides of the argument. So, I wasn’t sure if they “liked” the fact that the ban is being challenged in court or if they “liked” the fact that the ban was being defended in court. Very interesting, indeed.

Maybe this is how we can all come together and deal with our differences. I mean, I’m a total northerner and even though I loved visiting my brother’s vacation house in Raleigh with the family, and can’t wait to go again and again, I’m not exactly ready to start pricing NC Health Insurance. It’s a different culture and I’m not sure I’m  ready or willing to change the rules…my rules.

Still, if all the people with different ideas about a particular topic can come together and “like” the fact that the topic is under discussion, in a more or less neutral journalistic process…maybe there’s hope. Maybe we can see that the vinegar and vitriol of the shear op-ed outlets like Fox News and the like are not helping anybody, whether or not you agree with their politics. Let’s learn the lesson here. We “like” the fact that issues are being discussed and we don’t need to “hate” everybody who disagrees with our individual, personal views and belief systems.

Right?

Noise

Billboard Top 40 Pharma

  • by Drew

Ok, in addition to being annoyed by self proclaimed experts and fake experts, I am really, really annoyed by the crossover specialists. Here I’m thinking of people who have some degree of success in one area, often the music business, and then decide that they are somehow qualified to be fashion designers, fragrance creators, jewelry artists, or furniture makers.

If you can sing and you were lucky enough to get a record deal, with or without American Idol, can’t you just leave it at that? Do you really need to sell me an overpriced hoodie at Kohls? Do you really need to push an ottoman from Raymour and Flanigans with Your Name Collection on the pillowcase tag? Do you really need to suggest that I should try to smell like something that you pretend is what you smell like even though we both know damned well that you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that chamomile and french vanilla stink water?

Do you remember the good old days when the half talents on American Idol were just competing for a chance to sing other people’s music in the dictated genre for a pittance? Look to the future when they’ll be singing their hearts out for a chance to do the next Stimerex ES jingle or P&G radio spot…I mean, if they still have radio.

Life

And another thing…

  • by Drew

Something else has me annoyed. It’s not just the self-declared experts. It’s the bullshit fake experts. I’m thinking about guys like the Rich Dad Poor Dad dude. That guy has made an absolute mint with his made up story about two guys who take different investment paths. It’s the Goofus and Gallant of finance. Do what Goofus does and you will end up in the poor house. But follow Gallant’s investment strategy and you’ll end up wearing the royal rich dude robes.

And tons of people bought the book. And they bought the audiobook. And they bought follow up book. And they bought tickets to the seminar. And they bought copies of the investing video. And they bought the third book in the series. And they bought every magazine with and excerpt or article by the author of the three books. And they bought the revised ninth edition of the first book with the all new bonus chapter.

And maybe they followed the advice, and maybe it worked for them. Then again, maybe they should have spent the money on nice wedding invitations or just dumped it in a Money Market Account and left the book on the shelf.

My problem with this, and the reason I am annoyed: this dude never actually followed the Gallant investment advice. He was not a Rich Dad. He just came up with a cutesy concept for presenting the academic case for different styles of investing. Now, he is not particularly dishonest about the fictional dudes. But he made his money through book sales, and not investments, and for that reason, one has to REALLY question the validity of the advice.

Booze

Everyday Experts

  • by Drew

I am annoyed. Big surprise, but it is so.

I am annoyed by these people who have had some success in one, focused area, and decide they are experts in all things. For example, there is this wine guy who did a wine webcast years ago. He was the first one to do it, and he had some modicum of personality, and even some of the big retailers were linking to him for a while. Of course, then they realized that he is a retailer himself, in fact his family is a major retailing presence and much of what he would push was merchandise he, himself, needed to move.

This is marketing. This is capitalism at its finest…or worst. Same thing, really, right? And that is not what annoys me. The dude was trying to sell wine, and in so doing maybe got some more people interested in wine. This is cool. Personally, I think it was more an act of self-promotion and self-interest than true love of wine and wishing to spread the grapey love, but…that’s not what annoys.

What really toasts my bun to a deep, smoky charcoal is that this guy is now writing book about marketing and using social media and blah blah blah. Dude, you are a wine guy who had some success, mostly because you were in the right place at the right time. Be happy about that, and if you want to tell that story, fine. If you want to talk about how you marketed a very specific product in a very specific way, that’s cool. But when you start talking smack about marketing in general, media in general…seriously, shut the hell up.

I have table and chair set on my deck. I selected it from several different table and chair sets that I saw in a variety of stores. I am reasonably well-informed about my outdoor table and chair set but I’m not going to right a book about outdoor cushions. That would just be wrong.

Booze

Powerless

  • by Drew

So, the Subaru… We didn’t drive it for a couple of days. Then one morning, we turned the key in the ignition and nothing happened. Shouldn’t have been a surprise, I guess, since the dome light was off and absolutely nothing on the dashboard lit up for the effort. Dead battery you say? You say wrong.

Nope, I tried a jump and while it git the instrument panel to temporarily light up, the engine wouldn’t turn over. So I called teh dealership and since it is well within warranty, he said we need to get it towed in. I already screwed around with the fuse box looking for something blown with no luck, but I asked if there wasn’t something he could suggest. No luck. Get it towed.

So I called our roadside assistance number, the roadside assistance you get as part of the warranty, and after being hung up on twice by the computer, I was told that call volume was extreme. So it snowed for three days, big deal, right? The anticipated wait this morning was more than 8 hours. Actually, I think more than 8 hours is the longest delay the computer can offer, so for all I know it is more like two weeks.

Since we have another car – the unsinkable Toyota Corolla – I’m not too worried and figured I would wait a day for the call volume to subside rather than listen to the muzak light sounds of the 70s for “more than 8 hours” waiting for the next available operator.

But what if I was on the road, in the cold, with my kids, and a fading cell phone battery that I couldn’t charge because the power system in my car is completely dead. What then Subaru? It’s not like I’m looking for something complicated here like rv repair or jet turbine adjustment or help pairing wine with dinner. I just want a freakin’ tow.

Life

Frosty

  • by Drew

Snow everywhere. For the fourth or fifth time in the last week, the weather man was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. We had snow all day. All day. I got to bust out the snow blower again. Again.

I’m not usually a seasonal complainer since I am one of those people who always says I couldn’t live in, like, Florida or Cali because I like variety throughout the year. And I really do mean that. But when the weather man keeps saying “enjoy the next couple of sunny, snow-free days” and I plan accordingly, the unexpected snow really blows.

I’m not exactly in the Outer Banks vacation homes market or anything,  but I really wish the weather guys would stop sucking it long enough to not blow the weekend…or at least let us know when it’s actually going to be a snowy day.

Confessions

Thinning

  • by Drew

Since my most recent post may make me sound like a real bald-hater I should point out that I, too, am somewhat follicle-challenged. I mean, I’ve always had a high hairline, even when I had hair down to my butt. And now I’ve discovered something else. After an ill-fated attempt to grow my hair out a year or so ago, I found that I have a thin patch in the Friar Tuck region. Damn. Goodbye rock star locks and hello Deadhead pony knob. Well, I think not. Back to corporate short, I guess.

So, I have hair issues too, so I’m not really picking on bald men. I’m picking on vain nimrods who blow all sorts of cash on hairpieces and Hummers to try to impress 18 year old girls. And who wants to impress 18 year olds anyway? I mean, I remember a time when 18 year olds were slim and sassy, and even the dimmest bulbs were fun to talk to. But now, it seems that wherever you look, two out of three teens are chunked up. Seriously, when I look better in a halter top than half the high school girls out there…this is why pay per view porn is such a big business.

The thing about baldness that gets to me, though, is the handful of areas that are not afflicted. For example – ears. I am pretty safe in this region. I have an occasional sprouting of fuzz on an earlobe that needs plucking, but it’s not too bad. My nose gets a routine plucking too, but mostly for what seems to be a handful of persistent hairs that corkscrew out.

I won’t even go into my back…but if they start doing effective back-to-Tuck hair transplants, my pate will be well-sheathed in coarse black wiry fuzz. and I used to pluck between my brows every once in a while, but it’s been years since I needed to. Weird. I never approached a mono-brow or anything. I just used to have a few stray hairs that would show up once in a while. But no more. Do you go bald on your brow line too?

But this brings me to my last area of hair-tastrophe. I have this one hair that appears in the middle of my left eyebrow every few months. While the bulk of my brow remains chill and trim, this one hair grows to the beat of its own drum. For real. It twists and turns for weeks before I notice it (contrary to what this post might suggest, I don’t actually spend too much time looking in the mirror…I mean, I do love rooms with tile flooring and all, but I’m not that bad). when I notice the mega-hair, I grab the tweezers and usually pluck something that approaches an inch in length. What is that all about? What is this one rogue hair doing? Why can’t we clone that little bugger and sell him to the vain, bald, Hummer driving, chunky-loving male masses? We could make a mint!

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